nikkisdad
Feb 13th, 07, 02:38 PM
>>
> >>Making a baby.........
> >>
> >>The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
>surrogate
> >>father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to
>arrive,
> >>Mr.
> >>Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now, Th e Man
>should
> >>be here soon."
> >>
> >>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
> >>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
> >>
> >>Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' Oh, no need to
>explain,"
> >>Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
> >>
> >>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
&g t;know
> >>babies are my specialty?"
> >>
> >>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have
>a
> >>seat."
> >>
> >>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
> >>
> >>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
> >>couch,
> >>and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor
>is
> >>fun.
> >>You can really spread out there."
> >>
> >& gt;"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for
>Harry and
> >>me!"
> >>
> >>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
>we
> >>try
> >>several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
>sure
> >>you'll be pleas ed with the results."
> >>
> >>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
> >>
> >>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
>in
> >>and
> >>out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
> >>
> >>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
> >>
> >>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
>his
> >>baby
> >>pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
> >>
> >>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
> >>
> >>"And these twins turned out exception ally well - when you consider
>their
> >>mother was so difficult to w ork with."
> >>
> >>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
> >>
> >>"Yes, I'm af raid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
>job
> >>done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
>good
> >>look."
> >>
> >>"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
> >>
> >>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
>The
> >>mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
>concentrate,
> >>and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
>
> >>squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all
>in."
> >>
> >>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
> >>uh...
> >>equipment?"
> >>
> >>"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
>and
> >> ;we
> >>can get to work right away."
> >>
> >>"Tripod?"
> >>
> >>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
>too
> >>big to be held in the hand very long."
> >>
> >>Mrs. Smith fainted.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>Making a baby.........
> >>
> >>The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
>surrogate
> >>father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to
>arrive,
> >>Mr.
> >>Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now, Th e Man
>should
> >>be here soon."
> >>
> >>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
> >>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
> >>
> >>Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' Oh, no need to
>explain,"
> >>Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
> >>
> >>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you
&g t;know
> >>babies are my specialty?"
> >>
> >>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have
>a
> >>seat."
> >>
> >>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
> >>
> >>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
> >>couch,
> >>and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor
>is
> >>fun.
> >>You can really spread out there."
> >>
> >& gt;"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for
>Harry and
> >>me!"
> >>
> >>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
>we
> >>try
> >>several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
>sure
> >>you'll be pleas ed with the results."
> >>
> >>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
> >>
> >>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
>in
> >>and
> >>out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
> >>
> >>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
> >>
> >>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
>his
> >>baby
> >>pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
> >>
> >>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
> >>
> >>"And these twins turned out exception ally well - when you consider
>their
> >>mother was so difficult to w ork with."
> >>
> >>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
> >>
> >>"Yes, I'm af raid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
>job
> >>done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
>good
> >>look."
> >>
> >>"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
> >>
> >>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
>The
> >>mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
>concentrate,
> >>and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
>
> >>squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all
>in."
> >>
> >>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
> >>uh...
> >>equipment?"
> >>
> >>"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
>and
> >> ;we
> >>can get to work right away."
> >>
> >>"Tripod?"
> >>
> >>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
>too
> >>big to be held in the hand very long."
> >>
> >>Mrs. Smith fainted.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>