After several years of playing/coaching/managing/Team President...in Ice Hockey, I'm now an official youth hockey referee. I have have been certified by USA Hockey as a youth ref. Time and experience will move me up the ladder as I go. I just got so tired of the politics in youth athletics and the underappreciating parents, however, every kid is great!! Never a player issue, only the PITA parents. So anyway, now that I ref, I get to show up, get changed, call the game , and go home, with 60 minutes of exercise to boot! I really enjoy it, and for the most part, can't hear a damn thing while on the ice. But, if I miss a call....and I do at times...I hear about it. No biggie, it's all part of the game and I really do enjoy the game. This is an instance where the sport has been good for my boys and I can give back a little. I certainly don't need the money. I just hope I don't get blamed for messing up little Jimmies NHL shot at stardom!! As you should know, every little player has an NHL shot, don't you? Sorry, had to say it, just being facetious. Truly, 99% of the families out there are great and once again it's the 1% that make the mess. It's easy to let someone else do it, but stay involved in your kids and the community....it's good for the soul.

I am not a ref Chuck, but I am the father of two daughters that play competitive softball. I just wanted to say thanks for giving your time and sharing your love of the game with the kids in your community.
I hope it will be a very rewarding experience for you. :beers:

Signed one of the 99%, 99% of the time. :D

Chuck thanks for your time you give for the sport. The only thing less appreciated by these PITA parents than a coach is an official. I coached baseball and softball for 14 years, and a few in hockey. I saw first hand the abuse and the unrealistic expectations of the parents. Many of them aren't willing to give any of their time themselves to benefit the kids and then come and shoot their mouths off from the stands to make it worse.

I also understand about many parents thinking their kid is going to go pro or at least get a full ride to play somewhere. My son was a very good baseball player and hockey player. As he got older he had to choose one sport because hockey had become a 12 month a year sport for him he went with that. I knew myself that there has only been one kid from our area of the state in the past 2 decades go on to play D1 hockey. Many parents asked us if our son was going to play D1 hockey, like all he had to do was declare his interest and he'd be on the team or something. When I'd explain he had no plans to play hockey they'd just ask why not? Sports are supposed to be something the kids enjoy, not something the adult pushes on them.

My yongest brother was recruited to play D1 hockey and Ontario Junior A as a goalie. He went with the D1 school, but the head coach left for an NHL job over the summer and when he showed up in the fall the new coach brought 2 other goaltenders into the program with him. Another life lesson I guess. Just shows how competitive and difficult it is to break into a program at that level. It's rare it ever happens, many parent don't understand this.

As a coach and a parent I think what you really hope for is to make the experience enjoyable enough that the youth wants to continue to play it at a recreational level when they are grown. Now that he's graduated he's back playing men's A league and having a blast. It's great to see him doing something he enjoys. I wish more parents had this kind of respect for their kids, the game and the officials. It would be a lot more enjoyable for everyone. He's also reffed, so we understand that side of it as well. I'd go watch the games he officiated. I actually worried more about him in those games than I ever did as a player. I guess that speaks volumes for how abusive the parents can get towards the officials. Tune them out and just do your job. Some of us appreciate what you are doing and ALL the kids certainly do.

I'm not a hockey ref, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.

Thanks for your support! My boys played hockey for fun. My middle son played travel until Bantams, then he said "enough!!"...no problem. My oldest played all the way through high school and then played last year as a freshman for a Big 10 School. He said it was great fun, but enough was enough. His major is taking priority, so hockey is set aside for now and that's great. We now get a chance to play together on a men's team locally in the summer. Great fun! And yes indeed, the PITA parents can ruin it for all. Too many times parents measure the value of their children merely by their performance on the ice/field/court. How ridiculous. For all of you/us/me, don't let the bastidges wear you out as they say and keep doing the community thing for the kids. It sets an example of who you are and what's important. What the heck, we're hot rodders....we're used to frustration!

Started refereeing hockey in 1971 and quit in 2000. Was told by brother who still played that I was the last "old school" ref left in our area and the players had to change their game when I was the ref. With over 2000 games up to the semi pro level it was time to quit and just watch the game. Hope you enjoy your time on the ice and do not let the parents get to you. Most important thing to remember is not to be a "home" ref. Treat each team equal and stand your ground. Also learn how to break up fights the right way, yes there is a right way and it takes two good refs to get it right. Gives you a new veiw of hockey and a very good way to exersise. Also get the right equipment to protect yourself. A frozen hockey puck at 100 mph will hurt and leave a mark.

Thanks for your time. My son plays youth hockey and I make sure he thanks his coaches and refs after every game.

ChuckD -- I've been involved in various positions with USA Hockey for 14 years, as the President of a local organization, Commissioner of the Captial Beltway Hockey League (here in the Maryland / Virginia area) and currently as the Southeastern District Tournament Chairman.

My son has played hockey since he was 7 years old and just played his final game with the Towson Unveristy team a few weeks ago. He was also a level 3 referee, but gave it up due to time constraints while attending college. I hope he takes up officiating again at some point in the future.

Without volunteers like yourself to support the game, we would not be able to offer opportunites to young men and women who play the sport -- many thanks for volunteering your time.

I'm not a hockey ref, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.


Good one! Any parent who's kid plays competitive sports will find that funny.

My 2 kids play hockey and to all of you who have given up your time as an association member, coach or ref in any sport - THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :thumbsup:Reading these posts about the parents made me laugh a bit because I just shake my head when I hear what some of these parents say in the stands. I can just imagine what some parents say to you coaches - "You are not giving Johnny enough ice time, you're screwing up his NHL career" :rolleyes:

Good one! Any parent who's kid plays competitive sports will find that funny.

My 2 kids play hockey and to all of you who have given up your time as an association member, coach or ref in any sport - THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :thumbsup:Reading these posts about the parents made me laugh a bit because I just shake my head when I hear what some of these parents say in the stands. I can just imagine what some parents say to you coaches - "You are not giving Johnny enough ice time, you're screwing up his NHL career" :rolleyes:

I could spend hours telling you some of the stories and issues I had to put up with over the years -- including attorneys :mad: Let's just say that there are a lot of hockey parents with the "My Little Gretsky" syndrome and feel that their 8 year old superstar should probably have an agent :sad:

Started refereeing hockey in 1971 and quit in 2000. Was told by brother who still played that I was the last "old school" ref left in our area and the players had to change their game when I was the ref. With over 2000 games up to the semi pro level it was time to quit and just watch the game. Hope you enjoy your time on the ice and do not let the parents get to you. Most important thing to remember is not to be a "home" ref. Treat each team equal and stand your ground. Also learn how to break up fights the right way, yes there is a right way and it takes two good refs to get it right. Gives you a new veiw of hockey and a very good way to exersise. Also get the right equipment to protect yourself. A frozen hockey puck at 100 mph will hurt and leave a mark.

I was an "old school" ref too. Started in the 80's, quit a few years ago because USA Hockey is ruining the game. I got all excited last year because USA Hockey was going to have a "new emphasis" on the rules, actually let us start calling all the penalties again. So I signed up to get re-certified. The referee instructional video for 2006-2007 said "penalties MUST be called". Nope. Went to the ref clinic and the guy from USA Hockey said, "Nah, let 'em play". It's too bad, there's a whole generation of kids that don't know how to play hockey, all they know is grabbing, holding, hooking, and slashing.

Thanks for your support. There's no question many people have an agenda to ride on the coat tails of their childs athletic success, even if it's imaginary. The message is clear...no one looks out for your kids or will do anything for them unless it's you. Depend on no one but your own family. Sounds harsh, but I'm afraid it's a reality in these times. I've seen so many parents mis-led by con-artist coaches. It makes you sick. This is why I stay in the game, to do what I can to keep things clean and protect the kids to the extent that I can.

Keep up the good work Chuck, it's appreciated!

Hey Jerry....don't give up just yet. In Illinois, we do follow the new USAH initiatives and the game has settled down somewhat. I think it's working here. The littlest players/youngest players are the ones who are learning the new way, so it may take some time. Even Mens's leagues are seeing a subtle difference. It all depends on the ref's to a great degree. Call it like you see it and if you don't like it.....tough! Let's play on! Gotta go...have two games tonight!!

I got all excited last year because USA Hockey was going to have a "new emphasis" on the rules, actually let us start calling all the penalties again. So I signed up to get re-certified. The referee instructional video for 2006-2007 said "penalties MUST be called". Nope. Went to the ref clinic and the guy from USA Hockey said, "Nah, let 'em play". It's too bad, there's a whole generation of kids that don't know how to play hockey, all they know is grabbing, holding, hooking, and slashing.


I think that really depends on where you are then because thats not the case here. They are calling it and the game has settled down IMO.
I agree with Chucks statement in the above post.

Man, I hope you guys are right. And that's a good point about teaching the little ones to play the right way, that's the way to make a lasting change.

Once again, it's no wonder youth sports coaches have a poor image....yesterday and then again today, I had the misfortune of reffing the same teams game. They were a visiting team and seemed to have left their manners at home. In particular, the asst coach (loose term) was squawking early in the first game yestarday, and continued it in the second game played today. What a poor representative he was of not only his team, but of his organization. I finally had to give him a warning in the 3rd period. After the game, he wouldn't even shake my hand , although the Head Coach did and was quite professional about it all. All of this Bullbleep for a lousy $22. I love this game!! And Oh...by the way, they lost both games.

I'd like to add to the thanks for your time.

I'm new to the hockey culture...having moved from Sacramento to the Metro area of Minnesota. I'm working as a character development coach with a Tier 3 Junior A team and it's been an awakening to be sure. Most of these guys have been playing since they were 5 or so and even though this is pay to play, they still hold out the dream that it's at least going to lead to D3 hockey and who knows where else. It comes through for some of them.

My wife and I adopted our 5 kids and have spent our time focusing on their characters and trying to undo the damage of the past. I intend no slam at all to the parents who support their kids in competetive sports, but I have to say it's outside my perspective. I can totally see how people get carried away by the time they invest all that time and money. It could be a vicious cycle and it's still around in Juniors.

Like so many things, it's hard to strike a balance.

I just got home from the rink, playing not ref'ing. Have not ref'ed for 20 years cause the parents, as someone said a small percentage, take most of the fun out of it. I make a point of going up to the ref's after each game and thanking them no matter how the calls during the game have gone. After all it is just a game.