Chris Davis
Oct 12th, 01, 06:52 AM
I just had my 48th birthday. As a birthday gift, my mother gave me a copy of this story that she wrote in 1973 when I was 19.
Some time in the past......
By Mom
Some time ago our son became the owner of a mild-mannered, six-cylinder 69 Camaro Convertible which was pleasant to hear, thrifty to drive and behaved well on the road. It used a little oil and one day he announced he was going to rebuild the engine. We assumed he was referring to a ring job and that seemed sensible.
First he acquired air shocks. "What do they have to do with the engine?" we asked.
"Well, nothing. But I always wanted them," he said.
The car went about with it's tail in the air until state statute limited the alignment between the front and rear of cars. In cornering the inflated shock on the weighted side tended to loose it's air to the less burdened opposite shock, and going around corners became tricky business.
Soon we were hearing about 4-barrell carburetors, high lift cams, ratios of this to that, loaded springs (that sounds dangerous), headers, knurled valve guides that did or didn't do what they were supposed to, hot plugs (surely not stolen!), and other exotic terms. There were one-sided discussions of short blocks - or was it small blocks? - or both. Actually there were many "blocks" to the whole business, mostly money.
Glass packs and chrome wheels were the only familiar words and we knew they meant noise and rust, respectively.
We learned that when a car is rebuilt (it became the whole car) the transmission becomes the "trans" or "tranie" and 4-barrel becomes 4-bbl in abbreviation. I am still pondering the second b in barrel.
After many trips back to the shop for adjustments and unexpected tearing asunder of things not accounted for in original planning, the gentle Camaro has become a fire-spitting dragon who bellows into the driveway, there to drip oil and transmission fluid on once virgin concrete.
A direct hookup exists from the gas tank to the exhaust pipe and it really should be connected to a filling station at all times. Once around the block and oil must go in and spark plugs come out.
It is not to be driven at more than forty on the highway or it will "blow up" - a term calculated to make mothers feel insecure - because it is "winding" like a car going eighty, he says.
We don't understand. We are out of our depth. We give up.
Now the fuel shortage is upon us and our '69 Merc 429 gets 7 miles to the gallon around town. We are thinking we should rebuild the engine. We figure that if we do everything the kid did in reverse we might be able to keep the car a few more years. We could get a Mustang II engine, shorten the cam, change some ratios, unknurl the guides, do something to the tranie.....
It just occurred to me that I better give my Mom credit in case this gets republished somewhere.
STORY BY:
Betty May Davis
Dixon, IL
[This message has been edited by Chris Davis (edited 10-12-2001).]
Some time in the past......
By Mom
Some time ago our son became the owner of a mild-mannered, six-cylinder 69 Camaro Convertible which was pleasant to hear, thrifty to drive and behaved well on the road. It used a little oil and one day he announced he was going to rebuild the engine. We assumed he was referring to a ring job and that seemed sensible.
First he acquired air shocks. "What do they have to do with the engine?" we asked.
"Well, nothing. But I always wanted them," he said.
The car went about with it's tail in the air until state statute limited the alignment between the front and rear of cars. In cornering the inflated shock on the weighted side tended to loose it's air to the less burdened opposite shock, and going around corners became tricky business.
Soon we were hearing about 4-barrell carburetors, high lift cams, ratios of this to that, loaded springs (that sounds dangerous), headers, knurled valve guides that did or didn't do what they were supposed to, hot plugs (surely not stolen!), and other exotic terms. There were one-sided discussions of short blocks - or was it small blocks? - or both. Actually there were many "blocks" to the whole business, mostly money.
Glass packs and chrome wheels were the only familiar words and we knew they meant noise and rust, respectively.
We learned that when a car is rebuilt (it became the whole car) the transmission becomes the "trans" or "tranie" and 4-barrel becomes 4-bbl in abbreviation. I am still pondering the second b in barrel.
After many trips back to the shop for adjustments and unexpected tearing asunder of things not accounted for in original planning, the gentle Camaro has become a fire-spitting dragon who bellows into the driveway, there to drip oil and transmission fluid on once virgin concrete.
A direct hookup exists from the gas tank to the exhaust pipe and it really should be connected to a filling station at all times. Once around the block and oil must go in and spark plugs come out.
It is not to be driven at more than forty on the highway or it will "blow up" - a term calculated to make mothers feel insecure - because it is "winding" like a car going eighty, he says.
We don't understand. We are out of our depth. We give up.
Now the fuel shortage is upon us and our '69 Merc 429 gets 7 miles to the gallon around town. We are thinking we should rebuild the engine. We figure that if we do everything the kid did in reverse we might be able to keep the car a few more years. We could get a Mustang II engine, shorten the cam, change some ratios, unknurl the guides, do something to the tranie.....
It just occurred to me that I better give my Mom credit in case this gets republished somewhere.
STORY BY:
Betty May Davis
Dixon, IL
[This message has been edited by Chris Davis (edited 10-12-2001).]