I just had to share this with all...........

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up
A lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5,
and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A TroubledUser (SEE REPLY BELOW)
______________________________________
REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem about which men are complaining.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child-Support.
I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstance, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

graemlins/clonk.gif

Very funny and somewhat accurate in many cases.

It's expensive but I upgraded to Wife 2.0 and I'm very happy with the results. Much more compatible.

Originally posted by deejaygee:
It's expensive but I upgraded to Wife 2.0 and I'm very happy with the results. Much more compatible. LOL!!! :D

I couldn't afford that so I went with the "Yes Dear" app and run the "APOLOGIZE command" on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis!!

And watch for Mother-in-law 1.2.1 that automatically installs with Wife 1.0!!!

Do any of you guys get annoying virus' such as:
where u been.badboy, or izsheprettier.liar, or coldcouch.101... :D Just jokin', wife 1.0 is pretty good most of the time ;)

Dano graemlins/beers.gif

Where can I buy this program wife 1.0 I think it would make a nice addition to my system? I have tried to download this program many times but have been unsuscessful. I also have tried high maitnenace- girlfriend 6.0 and one-nighter 2.0 and have found them both to be uncomptible with my system.

Originally posted by 69CamaroRacer:
Where can I buy this program wife 1.0 I think it would make a nice addition to my system? I have tried to download this program many times but have been unsuscessful. I also have tried high maitnenace- girlfriend 6.0 and one-nighter 2.0 and have found them both to be uncomptible with my system. It's like I tell my Linux buddies: you use freeware, you get what you pay for.

Originally posted by deejaygee:
It's like I tell my Linux buddies: you use freeware, you get what you pay for. LOL!!! Ha, that's twice you got me laughing!! :D

Now, we need virus protection. Talk about spyware and a firewall....................

I would like to give you all a warning about some software that is popularly used. One-nighter 2.0 and picked-her-up-at-the-bar 6.9 have been known to be infected with many viruses including the dreaded Chlamydia 9.0 and Syphilis 8.0. Both of these viruses can reek havoc on your system and should be avoided at all costs. Some useful firewalls that can prevent the spread of these viruses are Trojan 4.0 but the best of all protection software is abstinence 1.0. It is the only program gaurnteed to prevent the spread of viral infection. It is also usful in preventing programs like honey-guess-what 3.0 and baby-on the-way 2.0. from taking over.

Codi,

Spyware 3.0 was developed by the same people that brought you wife 1.0. They work together to monitor car money 50.0. If you start the application car money 50.0 then they start a more stealthy apllication installed with wife 1.0 called firewall 2.0 that does not allow any thing to enter the system until the wife 1.0 allows certain port to be opened again. Caution, only wife 1.0 can open these ports and allow certain things to enter again.


You sure can tell who the geeks are

Cheers,
Tom

Fortunately I found it cheaper to deal with child support 1.0 then to keep wife 1.0 installed. Installed girlfriend 8.0 four years ago and is way better than wife 1.0 ever thought about. Girlfriend 8.0 encourages Boysnightout 2.6 especially if it includes checking out Stripclub 5. Then all sockets are available for use upon returning home. Only one perameter the Girlfriend 8 requires is that couchcuddletime 3.1 is maintained and updated 3 times a week. Only possibe flaw I've found is that Girlfriend 8 will tend to start up program nag nag 2.1 if couchcuddletime 3.1 is supperseded by workoncamaro 1.0 for 4 or more nights in a row. Girlfriend 8.0 also understands the concept of mypaycheckismine 1.6 and herpaycheckishers 1.2 Otherwise damn good program to have installed with only hints of wife 2.0 without committment 1.6.

You must be VERY careful with Wife1.0. There seems to be a lot of apparently pirated or bad copies out there, and they can cause all kinds of problems that you may never get rid of, unless you resort to the erase c:\*.* command (which can cause even more aggravation from applications like PrisonLife 15to20.0. Years ago a buddy of mine got a program with attractive packaging called girlfriend 1.0, which he later upgraded to Wife1.0, and got the add-on's kid 1.0 and 2.0. Shortly after kid2.0 was installed, Wife1.0 began to malfunction. It even tried to attack my harddrive :eek: :D By this point Wife1.0's packaging was WAY larger...it took repeated applications of spam blockers to keep it away from my harddrive. Eventually, Wife1.0 uninstalled itself, but left behind a couple of other nasty utilities that worked in conjunction with Lawyer4.0 to create new program files like Childsupport14.2 and Retarded-Inlaws 9.0. My buddy eventually upgraded to Wife2.0, which in his case was a much, much better program that was way more compatible with his system. His version of Wife2.0 came with some free upgrades like Cook7.5, Clean9.0, and apparently some pretty racy porn was included too ;)
All I am saying, is be careful when you purchase Wife1.0.

Well, ya know what food kills a womans sex drive?


Wedding Cake.

I hated the Wife 1.0 program so bad, I format the drive.