Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy,Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?"

Number 10 is oh so true!

You are correct about number 10, Try a 30 years old lady Dr. Fat finger. Luckily she had little hands. I got home and told the wife what the lady had done to me, she laughed for about an hour. Told me to step into her shoes for a little wile. She had a point, We had to go through invitro to have kids, that poor girl has been poked and prodded by who knows how many diff dr's. Glad I'm a man.

Some "places" are designed for "entry and exit" and some are just not. Next time you go see your Dr., shake his hand, hold your hand near your nose, sniff, and ask if he has been busy today.

Another good one is:
Doc...I sure hope those are not your hands on my shoulders!

no.10

Jump? Yeah, it was the pain AND the surprise!

Another good one is:
Doc...I sure hope those are not your hands on my shoulders!

Here is the technical medical term when the Dr has both his hands on your shoulders will doing the procedure,

"Brokeback Mountain Colonoscopy"

I told my Doc I expected at least dinner and a movie before getting that close and personal.

True story: I thought the name of that movie was Bareback Mountain. Might've been a more appropriate name after all...

I thought it was called "Backdoor Mountain".

I didn't realize it was "Mountain" I thought it was Mountin'

wow....

I think I hear keys jingling.....

Ya know what.................the Dr is lucky that guy did not fart.

There ya go Dave that should to do it

FART! Now, that's blow-by.

Ibtl!!!!

Worst thing to hear while getting a Prostate Exam!
True story, happened to a friend of mine. My friend had two people in the room one was the Doctor and the other was in training. The person in training had to administer the test and while she was in their she looked at the doctor and said I do not know what I am feeling for, and the Dr. had to go in and do it again. He got the two for one deal. I have been joking with him to see if he got charged twice for the procedure.

I am sure that if my boss had this done they would find this guy at works nose up there for sure...LOL

I haven't had the procedure done yet. But I don't know which of two things I'm worried about more:
1. That it will hurt.
2. That it won't.
:eek:

I am in the medical ultrasound field and know that there are some much more "dignified" ways to get this procedure done, but the majority of the doctors I've met think that it's best to feel for enlargement of the prostate. The old fashioned way is more cost effective too... in the doc's defense, I'm pretty sure they don't like giving the exams any more than we like getting them ;)

Dano

I am in the medical ultrasound field and know that there are some much more "dignified" ways to get this procedure done, but the majority of the doctors I've met think that it's best to feel for enlargement of the prostate. The old fashioned way is more cost effective too... in the doc's defense, I'm pretty sure they don't like giving the exams any more than we like getting them ;)

Dano
I don't know about that, that little lady that gave me one had a smile on her face when I turned around, that and I'm only 33 years old, how many 33 year olds you see with prostate cancer? I think she just liked, as the phone ad says "sticking it to the man"! Now my wifes mad at her because of what she started! LOL Its a lot more fun without the rubber glove on!

I didn't see it, but was that movie as obnoxious as "Deliverance"??

pdq67

o my o my o my...... I have NOT laughed like this is so long.... you guys are killin me ..... LMAO this has got to be one of the funniest threads on here....

LMAO LMAO :clonk:

Now i know how the muppets feel... Oh man, thats funny!

LMAOF!! I'm scheduled for my 3rd procedure next may. This is funny s**t!
It's a necessary evil I suppose. It has "saved my ass" so to speak. But I think the worst part is drinking that sick juice to clean you out. YUK!
I have them knock my out for it, I DO NOT want to be conciuos for it. Usually, the last thing I see is the Doc's He-She male assistant smiling as I drift off. LOL. You ought to see this nurse. 10 lbs. of makeup, 60's flip up hair doo, looong fingernails on huge man hands, Adams apple, etc. Yeah, they can't give me enough drugs for this one. LOL
I swear I've heard the He-She saying, "How-does-THAT-feel"!! before passing out.
I've woke up asking my wife if it really happened or was it just a bad dream. Wife smiling, patting my head, "yeah hon, it happened", as she calls for the cute nurse to fetch the wheelchair. We're ready to go home now. LOL Funny sh*t!!