nikkisdad
Apr 4th, 06, 03:35 PM
New Regulations of Political Correctness...
>
>
>
> Politically Correct
> Due to the climate of political correctness now
> pervading America,
> Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no
> longer be referred to
> as "HILLBILLIES."
> You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
>
> And furthermore..
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
> 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
> "BREASTED AMERICAN."
> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
> "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
> 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
> ACCESSIBLE."
> 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
> "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
> SUPERHIGHWAY."
> 5. She has not "BEEN A ROUND" - She is a
> "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
> 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY
> IMPAIRED."
> 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
> "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
> 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
> "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
> 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY
> REPETITIVE."
> 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
> EXTROVERTED."
> 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She
> is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR." < /FONT>
> 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW
> COST PROVIDER."
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
> 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed
> a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY
> CAUCASIAN."
> 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
> "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
> 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
> REGRESSION."
> 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
> "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
> 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes
> "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
> 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops
> a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
> 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE
> EMPATHY."
> 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
> "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
> 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
> 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
> pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE ."
>
>
> --
>
>
>
> Politically Correct
> Due to the climate of political correctness now
> pervading America,
> Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no
> longer be referred to
> as "HILLBILLIES."
> You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
>
> And furthermore..
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
> 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
> "BREASTED AMERICAN."
> 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
> "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
> 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY
> ACCESSIBLE."
> 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a
> "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
> SUPERHIGHWAY."
> 5. She has not "BEEN A ROUND" - She is a
> "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
> 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY
> IMPAIRED."
> 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
> "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
> 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
> "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
> 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY
> REPETITIVE."
> 10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY
> EXTROVERTED."
> 11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She
> is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR." < /FONT>
> 12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW
> COST PROVIDER."
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
> 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed
> a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
> 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY
> CAUCASIAN."
> 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He
> "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
> 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE
> REGRESSION."
> 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers
> "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
> 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes
> "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
> 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ***" - He develops
> a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
> 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE
> EMPATHY."
> 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is
> "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
> 10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
> 11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his
> pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE ."
>
>
> --