View Full Version : Use these only if you are looking too divorce.....


nikkisdad
Oct 18th, 06, 10:18 PM
:hurray: Men strike back!
>
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
> never be able to support you.
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men pass gas more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to
> Build up the required pressure.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
> 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
> a bald head and a beer
> gut, and still think they are sexy.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested.
> Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
> --------------------------------------+

stevea
Oct 18th, 06, 10:45 PM
OK, I read them to my wife and she is not leaving me, why didn't it work?

Just kidding, I have a great wife

HarleyD67
Oct 18th, 06, 10:52 PM
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c87/HarleyD67/Smilies/laughing.gif

67FamilyFun
Oct 19th, 06, 06:05 AM
OK, I read them to my wife and she is not leaving me, why didn't it work?

Yeah, I tried too with no luck! :)

Camaro Dave
Oct 20th, 06, 12:45 AM
Hehe, that is funny Mike.......my wife thought so too :D

MrDanB
Oct 20th, 06, 07:11 PM
I read them to my wife and she just looked upward and said: "whatever. Take me to the mall and buy me a new outfit..." :mad: I always like what my Dad used to say..."Give a woman an inch and she'll think she's a ruler" :thumbsup:
Dano:clonk:

nikkisdad
Oct 20th, 06, 07:29 PM
I read them to my wife and she just looked upward and said: "whatever. Take me to the mall and buy me a new outfit..." :mad: I always like what my Dad used to say..."Give a woman an inch and she'll think she's a ruler" :thumbsup:
Dano:clonk:

Most guys give six, and think they are a stud.........:sad: :clonk: