Humpday Humor, 3/28 ... Wife Swap
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husbandwas engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy isoffering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket? "
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said."Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
Real Classified Ads
These are supposedly actual classified ads having appeared invarious papers across the world.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG,5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700
VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS STAR WARS JOB OF THEHUT -- $15
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANKPUMPED.
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK + BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.
Bumper Stickers Seen
· You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
· I have the body of a god... Buddha.
· This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me.
· Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
· The face is familiar but i can't quite remember my name.
· Illiterate? Write for help.
· Honk if anything falls off.
· He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
· This isn't my idea of a good time.
· It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
· Uniquely maladjusted, but fun.
· This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.
· I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere.
· Oh, evolve!
· Gone crazy, be back shortly.
· If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.
Give a man a rescued dog for the health of both their souls. May 2017 ROTM Winner - Thank you!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
CUBS - 2016 World Series Champions - maybe this year, 2019 ...