Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others - Team Camaro Tech
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 04:40 AM Thread Starter
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Cool Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

Texting at 70

An older couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon, the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message, and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back toher: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks:
“Well? Are you still coughing?”
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”

Grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.
First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked:
"Please Granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself."
Granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore.
I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."

One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in themornings?”
Bill replies:“Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stingingin my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. It’s seven years in a row now.

Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband.
I am coming to live with you again."
Mother: "No, he should pay for his mistake." "I am coming to live with you."

Wife: “It’s our wedding anniversary in a week, Darling."
"How do you think we should celebrate?”
Husband: “With a minute of silence.”

I made a beginner’s mistake and went shopping on an empty stomach.
I am now the happy owner of Aisle 7.

"Darling, do you think I’ve gotten too fat?"
"Worry not my dear. Every good steak has some proper lard."

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.
Teach a man to fish and he’s going to spend a fortune on gear he’ll only be using twice ayear.

What’s a good demonstration of the difference between a man and a woman?
The two meanings of the sentence: “What an azz!”
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 06:21 AM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

4/3
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Lynn
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 06:42 AM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

Love them Ev

Click..is Jim..former owner of a 69RS-LM1 350/255 - 700r
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 07:19 AM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

strong week
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 08:16 AM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband.
I am coming to live with you again."
Mother: "No, he should pay for his mistake." "I am coming to live with you."

A husbands worst night mare.

Experience...... It's what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 08:45 AM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

Great Ev. I'll be laughing all day over the "I'm coming to live with you".

Al

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 03:53 PM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

Quote:
Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband.
I am coming to live with you again."
Mother: "No, he should pay for his mistake." "I am coming to live with you."

A husbands worst night mare.
Fortunately I have two abodes. Mother in law and Sister in law have been in country from Venezuela for the last six months. Luckily out of the firing line.

Hey Ev, very good. You do know it is April?

68 302 M20 - 85 IROC Z
The older I get the faster I was.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 04:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

Quote:
Originally Posted by scblucam View Post
You do know it is April?
Oh yeah, and I just turned the calendar - Over 40 Thing …
Thank you, Guys

Give a man a rescued dog for the health of both their souls. May 2017 ROTM Winner - Thank you!
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old Apr 3rd, 19, 05:42 PM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 3/3 ... Texting At 70 Plus Others

OK youngster rookie mistake.

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The older I get the faster I was.
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