Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener - Team Camaro Tech
Bench Racing Stories, cruising and more.

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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old Sep 17th, 19, 04:14 PM Thread Starter
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Red face Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener

Unique machine to say the least ...


1 What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
2 What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
3 How do you make an egg-roll? You push it!
4 Did you hear about the sensitive burglar. He takes things personally.
5 Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!
6 Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino? A: Because he was on a roll.
7 What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door. Close the door I am dressing!
8 Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
9 Why did the poor man sell yeast? To raise some dough.
10 Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because it kept saying Bach, bach, bach.
11 What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback!
12 What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
13 How do billboards talk? Sign language.
14 How do snails fight? They slug it out.
15 What would bears be without bees? Ears.
16 An Italian chef has died. He pasta way.
17 What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
18 How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips.
19 What’s a didgeridoo? Whatever it wants to.
20 When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
21 Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed.
22 How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.
23 What’s E.T. short for? He’s got little legs.
24 What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.
25 What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.
26 What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain.
27 What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer.
28 What do you call anxious dinosaur? Nervous Rex.
29 Where do beef burgers go to dance? The meatball.
30 How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
31 What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
32 What’s a bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear.
33 What do you call bees that produce milk? Boo-bees.
34 What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
35 How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours.
36 How did the barber win the race? He knew a short cut.
37 When is a car not a car? When it turns into a street.
38 Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
39 What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.
40 How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old Sep 17th, 19, 06:08 PM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener

I have one of those machines.

I call her my wife. Doh!!!

2017 Corvette ZO6 with ZO7 Option
66 Chevelle Protour LS3/525(SOLD AT Mecum 2018)
69 SS396 Cortez Silver(SOLD)
69 Z28(Sold)
69 Pro Tour - LS3/T56
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69 Z28/RS Tribute355/5 Speed (SOLD)
69 RS Clone 427/TH400 (SOLD)
67 RSZZ502/5 Speed (SOLD)
69 Camaro 406 SBC/TH400 (SOLD)
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old Sep 17th, 19, 07:20 PM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener

Neat machine but by the time it finishes I could be three glasses ahead.
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68 302 M20 - 85 IROC Z
The older I get the faster I was.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old Sep 18th, 19, 04:32 AM
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Brian
 
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Re: Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener

Neat machine that is kin of fun to watch. Seems overly complicated for such a simple task, though. Think I'll stick to Boones Farm with the twist off caps. lol
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Experience...... It's what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old Sep 18th, 19, 04:54 AM
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Re: Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener

Pretty cool, but damn that's a lot of cranking!

'68 Camaro with RS conversion
Moser 9" with 4:11
Martz Chassis 4-link and Front Sub-frame
Tremec T-56 Magnum 6 speed
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old Sep 18th, 19, 05:10 AM
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kevin
 
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Re: Humpday Humor, 9/17 ... Bottle Opener

Rube Goldberg spent 55 years drawing cartoons of machines and contraptions. His cartoons depicted simple household items, connected in funny but logical ways to perform a simple task. For instance, his cartoon invention of an automatic garage door opener used a bathtub, a flower, a bumblebee and an athlete.
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