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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
>
> > Just before the funeral services, the undertaker
> > came up to the very
> > elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
> > "98," she replied.
> > "Two years older than me."
> > "So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
> > She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
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> >
> > Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And
> > what do you think is
> > the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
> > She simply replied,
> > "No peer pressure."
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> >
> > The nice thing about being senile is you can hide
> > your own Easter eggs.
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> >
> > I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries,
> > a hip replacement,
> > new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm
> > half blind, can't
> > hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
> > different medications
> > that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to
> > blackouts. Have bouts with
> > dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my
> > hands and feet anymore.
> > Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my
> > friends.
> > But, I still have my driver's license.
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> >
> > My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my
> > memory's not as
> > sharp as it used to be.
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> >
> > It's scary when you start making the same noises as
> > your coffeemaker.
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> >
> > These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart
> > says, "For fast
> > relief."
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> >
> > Grant me the senility to
> > forget the people I
> > never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the
> > ones I do, and the
> > eyesight to tell the difference.
 
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