Boy, don't I know it...
Back when my son played, the coach thought it would be a good idea for the kids to play the parents one day at practice. My better judgement thought it was a bad idea right from the start... Anyway, the team 'cryboy' was coming at me with the ball, slipped and fell. In order for me to avoid falling on top of him and smashing him to a pulp in front of his parents, I made an unplanned sideways 'dive' over the top of him and landed elbow to ribs. It cracked a rib and knocked the wind out of me. I got back up and while I was gasping for air, the kid jumps up and passes the ball to a girl who later became knicknamed 'Danger Girl'. She sets up, shoots, and SCORES... my family jewels. Back down on the ground I go. It took quite a while for me to waddle off the field, alternating between groans and gasps for air. My ribs still hurt occasionally and I haven't set foot on a soccer field since.
Mark