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> Lesson 1:
>
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>shower, when the doorbell rings.
>The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
>
>When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
> Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
> After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
>When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>
>"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>
> "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
>
>
>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,
> you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>
>
>Lesson 2:
>
>A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her
>
>gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling
>
>the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>
>The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
>
>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
>
>again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>
>The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
>
>convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
>
>On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
>
>said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
>
>
>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
>
>
>
>Lesson 3:
>
>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
>
>when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
>
>Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>
>"Me first! Me first!" says the administration clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas ,
>
>driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
>
>Puff! She's gone.
>
>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
>
>on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and
>
>the love of my life."
>
>Puff! He's gone.
>
>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
>
>those two back in the office after lunch."
>
>
>
>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>
>
>Lesson 4
>
>An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw
>
>the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
>
>The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
>
>So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
>
>sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
>
>
>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
>
>
>
>Lesson 5
>
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
>
>top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
>
>"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
>
>They're packed with nutrients."
>
>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
>
>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
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>some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night,
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>the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
>
>He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
>
>
>
>Moral of the story: Bull [email protected]@ might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
>
>
>
>Lesson 6
>
>A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
>
>froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
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>came by and dropped some dung on him.
>
>As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
>
>how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all
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>warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
>
>A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
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>sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
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>dug him out and ate him.
>
>
>
>Moral of the story:
>
>(1) Not everyone who [email protected]@ on you is your enemy
>
>(2) Not everyone who gets you out of [email protected]@ is your friend
>
>(3) And when you're in deep [email protected]@, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>This ends the 3-minute management course.
>
 

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6,359 Posts
I will put this in Chief's inbox tonight. Yesterday we found a picture of Mr. Gay Europe 2006 on google and put it as his background on his work computer.
I wonder what all the other Chief's thought when he logged in this morning......
 

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8,154 Posts
Thats awesome Everett :thumbsup:
My personal favorite is #5. Unfortunately not always true though.......
 

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3,064 Posts
All good advice!!! :thumbsup:
 
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