This link may be useful in helping you visualize what is on the inside. Look for the simple schematic of a SPDT relay about midway down.
http://wolfstone.halloweenhost.com/TechBase/cmprly_Relays.html#What
Once you have a visual understanding of the guts, the pin layout on the Bosch relay is intuitive - except for the pole contacts.
The vertical contacts 85 and 86 are the coil contacts. *Usually* it doesn't matter which one of these are connected to power or ground BUT some relays have a diode accross the coil to help suppress flyback voltages when the coil de-energizes. As a result, it's worth checking the documentation. A simple test with a DMM might help you determine if it has a relay accross the coil or not.
The relay toggle (common) connection is the lone connection all by itself at position 30.
The pins 87 and 87a are the NO and NC connections respectively. In my mind, the positions of these terminals are reversed. This link
http://mymiata.paladinmicro.com/MiataRelays.htm shows some bosch relay guts that may help understand the internal layout.
Anyhow, once you're familiar with the internals, you can pretty much look at any bosch relay and know how to hook it up from memory. As I was saying before, I always use an ohm meter between 30 and 87 / 87A. Whichever pair shows continuity is the NC pair and the other is NO.