Sorry its been such a battle. I can relate. I rebuilt my first Chevy motor at 18. My 74Z28 spun a rod bearing because I was being stupid. Only 26,000 miles on the car, 2nd owner. The machine shop rebuilt it and before I got through break in at around 400 miles it spun the same rod bearing. They didn't trust me due to my age, but they did the machine work again on short block and I tore down the heads and went through them using the How to rebuild SBCs book, which I still have. I worked at a small Fied Base Operator at local airport and I tore dow the engines and helped assemble, usually changing jugs, pistons, props. So I had access to all the good tools.
I have always thought bout cylinder head gaskets this way. I would rather have the gasket bore a little large than the same size as the bore. When you squeeze soft metal to compress it it has to expand width wise even if its minimal. This is really only an issue if zero decking a block I would think. Hit a lead sinker with a hammer or put it in a vise as it compresses it gains width. Not quite the same thing, but you get the point. The cylinder sealing ring to effectively seal would have to be mallable enough to seal very minor imperfections. So torquing to seal it seems it has to deform even slightly towards cylinder. I may be wrong here, but I have always selected the gasket that will give me the CR & quench I am looking for and slightly larger than the cylinder bore. Maybe its not necessary. I would like to compare the sealing ring thickness and bore after having been torqued compared to new. Just to see if its altered at all.
Would like to hear from others on this, maybe I am over thinking it myself?