As others have said if it all came as a kit I would imagine it should all fit together. Otherwise is should be on the seller.
If you and your son have never put together a rear end before, it might be a real good idea to bring it to someone. Putting it together takes some practice, and getting the pattern correct takes some patience to say the least.
That being said, what exactly do you mean by "We can't get the 3:73 gear in install correctly. Its like the gear is too thick." You need to explain this with more detail.
I'm going to take a stab at your statement - I assume you have the pinion installed in the housing. When you say you can't get it installed do you mean when you load the assembled posi carrier into the housing with the carrier races and shims, that it won't go in? I can easily see this as being the problem but it's really difficult to say be your description. If it is the problem, while alternating side to side, you can take a large dead blow hammer and carefully tap on the carrier race/shims to get the assembly into the housing. Then to take it out you'll need a pry bar.
Hopefully this helps some. Give us a better description as to what exactly is going on and maybe someone can better help you out.